Saturday, September 30, 2006
What if ?
To begin with, i've finally handed in KWLA... learnt new fingerings for scales... though i find myself dumb enough for not getting it right... bloody dumb of me..
Some time.. this phrase 'What if' can be quite scary for me... which shows that im not appreciating what im having or something... if you get what i mean..
What if im more musical talent?
What if im more smarter ?
What if im more hardworking than now ?
What if im majoring in piano ?
What if i couldn make it for my exams ?
What if im more observant and quick ?
What if....
im goin nuts... i want to sleep.. but why i cant?
i need motivations.. a motivator...
bye..
Friday, September 29, 2006
A dream....
Had a weird dream again.... the dream that i never want to dream of it again...
though memories were sweet... but life goes on... thats reality..
im still feeling sad for my teacher... but i didn have the courage to call her to cheer her up..
in fact i dont know how to cheer her up...
i know she's very sad, especially her youngest son that she doted the most...
im lost...
i dont know how to smile again...
but to ignore the feeling of lost... and study....
Germany, where i want to further study...
totally lost now...
My Anime look..
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Oh my gosh...
Today marked the final of the academy examinations.. finally im over with it.. though im freaking sad and worried over history and MOA... all the question that i've studied didn appear.. it just like that...
can relax for a while.. but i cant... mom told me a sad and bad news.. my piano teacher's younger son had an car accident.. rather serious... until one of his eye almost came out, had a swollen face... still in unconcious... im very worried for my teacher... she's already very old... i wanna visit her... her youngest son always play with me badminton since young.. but now.. i didn have the chance to see everyone there... my piano is rusty to the core.. im disappointed in myself..
i hate myself...
Monday, September 25, 2006
Its here !!!!
today's the biggest disppointment i ever have.... this semester in year 2, i have given my best (not really... but better than last year)... to work hard for history, and yet !! DR KAN DIDN GAVE THE QUESTIONS that i have been working on OUT IN THE TEST !!!!!!!! oh crap.. guess what... i dreamt that she will come out question 1a and 2b for my choice... and really !!! it does come out... argh !!!!
like what i have told few peeps that i'll change her questions to the one that i've been working on... its so sad... i dont know how to face mom if i ever fails, all my work hard and regular visits to the library as if im visiting my grandma...
sigh.... what can i say?! what's done is done... look forward for MOA.... the another phobia that everyone has...
luckily for me, i didn choose orchestration which the exam is tomorrow.. good luck to the peeps...
im so sad now... but hopefully my other work will pull up this pathetic exam...
been looking forward for the 12-tone MOA... i love that section. its like playing SUDOKU...
ever since that teacher xu told me about the studying oversea in VIENNA... im really interested to go and study there... but im not sure... if im studying there.. i'll be missing everyone here... but...
anyway.... i must work hard......
good luck peeps..
Boo hooooooo... X-(
Friday, September 22, 2006
What should i do ?
Its 3 days more to exam... im feeling Sh!t now.. sigh... 3 essays half done... ok SHHHHHH enough
Today's ps is better.. but i still feel im playing worst... due to my right hand.. as my right hand will always be 'auto piloting'... if you know what i mean... the holding position will always change.. was so afraid that he will get angry.. cos ma sai's lesson is making him mad... but ma sai's talented... his pieces is madness yet musically beautiful...
he asked me if i ever thought of goin overseas to further study music and my playing has been improving week by week.. but i dont believe it.. its getting worst to worst.. perhaps my expectation is high for myself... i'll hate myself if i cant do it..
what i hate most is gossiping stuff like.. you know.. BGR thingy... dont assume what you seen... but yet we've judge you what we have seen... sounds contradicting.. but im referring to two different things...
what pisses me when you broke someone's heart cos of a bullshitting reason... at first we thought its true.. but until i personally sees it... i didn expect to see that... you hurt my good friend... and he doesn know anything...
there's two way we can see it... happy and angry...
still... i cant bother too much... its not my business.. but im worried for my poor friend... still waiting... it hurts to wait for long and yet.....
for now... i want to be by myself...
just myself...
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Funshine!!!
Argh!!!! exams is coming next monday... worst !! its history !!! tons of essay must be done and memorised !!! arghhhhh !!!! >.<... im so frustrated... plus !!! Due to the IMF thingy, the road is blocked !!! and today esplanade library is closed !!! how can we do our essay ?!?!?! argh !!!
KWLA is killing.. i hardly understand what she want from our journal... i hate journals... i mean school journals...
its alright... just do it.. and be happy !!
just did a test.... though it seems embarrassing, a care-bear test.. of what kind of bear you are... well.. my type of bear is..
FUNSHINE !!!
'Funshine bear is the CareBear's class clown (you see !!!). This playful bear really knows how to be funny and to have fun (thats right!). Funshine bear works very hard to make sure that people have a good time. "Enjoy each day" is Funshine's motto and it's shown on the bear symbol ---- a smiling sun!
hahhaa.. well.. you see !!!
get back to work !
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Well...
Woke up in the late morning... its been awhile since i woke up that late... sis was watching King Kong... and was screaming away when she saw the giant insect part..
Went to school for some composition talk.. its interesting where the composer, turns a conversation into a music... its interesting... our speakin voice does have music hidden in it...
went for PAYCO rehearsal... was there early.. trying to season the bass there... its horrible the sound is worst than mine... so i've learnt to appreciate mine.. saw some people that i last saw them 4 years ago.. all have changed... yup... all..
its nth much today.. just that the rehearsal is boring for those people... cos the conductor kept concentrating at me and a cellist..
ya... wannna do my 2nd concert review now.. tata...
what's this feeling?!
Thursday, September 14, 2006
finally its over..
yesh! im done with presentation !! oh yes !!! i can finally have a good night sleep...
but wait ! its not over... exams are coming...
today's history lesson is fun... so called playing a sudoku game... something like that... but its about music... about semitone thingy... yeah.. best lecture we had.. muaha...
today's ps is perhaps disappointing for me.. didn practice cos of concert and presentation all stuff... tomorrow will be having string rehearsal and PS again.. argh ! ...
Received a call from my leader... asking me of this idea of appointing me being a leader... i wasn't ready yet.. which i told him... two years is what im asking for... to be mentally ready and stuff like that.. but for now.. i want to have a full commitment for my studies... im glad i was accepted into NAFA...
whats wrong with me ?!
just received a 'wake up' call from cq... thanks... didn know he've grown mature.. wasn't like him in the past... in addition... im glad i've managed to control myself... my anger especially...when he 'lecture me'... im a hot tempered guy.... when im in bad mood.. but ya... at least... i managed to swallow everything... if not... prepare for 'war'....
but thanks anyway.... i wont forget that...
to be a better person? priceless...
i really wanna study... i must set my priorities right... what have i been doin ?!
Hope... Dreams...
Well.. the concert's great... a great exercise for orchestra people's brain... and a great exercise for the chorus peep's legs... standing for 45min straight... hahaha... teacher xu told us we did pretty good.. only must go through some minor thingy tomorrow.. oh well.. I HAVEN PRACTICE FOR MY PS !!!! ARGH !!!
today.. com lab is full... of last min peeps... haha.. luckly i got laptop with me.. phew.. so that i can save time.. doin my work anywhere i like...
im thankful for some of my MOA peeps... at least its done... but for harmony... as usual.. im very disappointed to one person.. just one... tallest yet useless... im sorry.. but i have to be honest.. vincent also felt that... so thats how i felt last sem... but anyway im not leader anymore.. im glad.. that kuku can just practically send me 2 super short paragraph... and play game infront of us... wth?! and rush us of who must say which part.. we haven finish everything yet la... and still must meet at 8?! *cencored* la... i stil have MOA...
calm down... im used to it already... cool cool cool...
today... Mrs Tay called me !!!! my piano teacher... im so happy to hear her voice !! it reminds me of the times where she called me to come for her lesson and tell me to practice all those stuff.. and i'll practice immediately.. so after her call i almost went to practice piano...
anyway.. she told me her student.. january.. a very good student.. wants to come to NAFA next year.. cool.. i dont think i remembered her already.. hopefully will see her... since she's good from what my teacher said..
tried to hint her that i need her to teach me again.. but she didn want to teach diploma standard... but she told me ATCL is easier than Dip Ab... ya.. so i'll take the challenge to take ATCL next year.. maybe without teacher to teach me.. oh well.. i must do it !! i dont care if anyone said im only a dbass major.., im a pianist at heart too !!
anyway.. i must go finished up the presentation... must calm down...
if you provoke me tomorrow.. i wont forgive you.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
oh BOY.....
Have been listening to Chopin etude Op.10 No.12 for almost 10 times already... just to do the analysis.. ARGH !!!!! How on earth can i finish them ?!?!?! i have harmony presentation, Piano repertoire presentation and MOA presentation waiting for me !!!
TOMORROW IS THE CONCERT !!!!!!!! ARGH !!!!!!! didn get to buy blazer... felt sad... cos i need really need new one... oh well.. next time then buy ba...
today got rehearsal for the total of 6 hours... oh my !!!! power ~~ my brain almost cooked by music notes now.. now still have to listen to classic song !!! ahhhhhhhhh !!!!!! im so worried now.. i still haven finish my harmony presentation graphic... then MOA still haven anaylse !!!! oh no oh no..
some people complained to me that have to stay until 10 bla bla bla... its not like orchestra people will go home early like the rest of the non-orchestra people... some might say that its not their prob... well.. my reply to you is.. its not mine too if you have to stay until 10...
I was very very pissed at something today... where your stand partner.. worst.. the principal.. lets you do all the cut and paste work.. rather than helping you... and later got pasted at wrong page and dare to mock me..... argh... i dont see why Hartung likes him.. jealous? well.. not really.. its like, sometime things went wrong he'll looked at me.. then when our section is good. he praise him.. argh shan't bother bout this.... im startin to.... you know.. dislike..
oh ya.. im not interested in big-sized china lady...
i dont know why, im starting to feel ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH XD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... phew that felt better....
sorry ar.. guys do have PMS.... as in mood swing..
ya.. lets carry on with my work... tata folks...
sadded, tix sold out for our concert.. interesting... anyway no one will go even if i asked...
night
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Oh no...
Great... just great !!! sis knows about it.. and im very worried that if mom finds out... im done for... she will ground me during weekends.. sigh... im lost... im stuck in the middle... sis also added if i dont come out for our activities, dont ever turn to her for help..
oh great... first MOA now this ?!...
Anyway Magnetic band is cool... i love the 2nd piece. well its pretty obvious... the melody is nicer ! however, the demand of the virtuosity for the first piece is rather high... since the piece is sooooooooo 20th century... lots of irregular chords and stuff like that... but char's previous teacher sang pretty well...
anyway... im having time crisis.. dont have time to buy blazer.. im happy that mom is willing to find me at bugis tomorrow to buy blazer... im so screwed.. everything is screwed..
so pissed... nvm calm down brother !.... everything will be just fine... take a deep breath !!!!! *GASP!!!!!*
and breath out...... *PHEWWWWWWWWWWW*...... (almost died down here)....
sadly enough... i cant come out weekends already.. to cool things down... dont let mom suspect and sis too.... maybe for few weeks... im sorry C.O.G.... i'll be back (terminator voice)...
ok.. time to chiong MOA !!!! CHIONG AR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im so lost now.... pick one?
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Scene to rap!
Well well, looks like shauny was kinda bored, and entertain himself with my gadget... hmmm.. but the effects are cool!....
Boo!!!! my favourite hangout before concert.. the lovely toilet !! was bored.. and trying to look how similar i looked like to a Ah meng...
Three person went for dinner, saw a bunch of skateboard punks skating around the nearby park.. suddenly, some of them fell and broke their bodies into pieces. The first kuku didn yell, second dodo didn want to see the bodies, third didn wanna hear the bone crackings...
A giant baby was trying to hide his toys from his mama, giving his kuku face as hard as he can.. But didn work at all.. awww
When you sneezes, cover your nose by poking them, just like this in Fig. 25... see... the cameraman have to replace his canon 100000X zoom cos of the phlegm that stick to the lens.. Lastly, drinking listerine will make your teeth grow bigger than half of your head..
Youthful days...
Well... being busy with presentation few days back... first... i went overnight at Shaun the bear's house, my phone ran out of batt, and it died on me !!! how could you ?!?!?! i tried to find shaun by my instinct.. of course my first instinct STINK!! so i got lost.. and tried my 2nd try, and finally found him walking out.. phew..
his mom is cool, must wash hands before eat, just like mom when i was young where she made me wash hands before eating.. where i tend to play all the time and get myself dirty...
tried to crack our heads to do.. but, you know.. distraction occurs.. so i was looking at shaun's photos at his church and his church mates.. over 40 people of youths!!! wow... and they are funny, i laughed the most when they tried to suck in the helium air from the balloon and they sounded like a clown!! haha kidding..
walked around at his house... drank a can of red bull.. and finally get things doin...
it was 7 am in the morning where we went to sleep for half an hour!! wow...
rushed to school... piano repertoire presentation was postpone... phew !!
and now comes the history!!..
after all the scaring from dr kan.. we got an A !!! whahaha.... all thanks to the red bull!!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Why?!?!?!
Its sooooooooooooooo........ argh!!!!! when im unnoticable in string... i dont know why.. since h@rtung came... though strings are getting better.. but we are not happy... especially..... me... at first i love this guy.. he can conduct.. but just that he didn have this consideration of the players... his expectation is super high... he is bias towards skilled people.. that i have to admit that...
nvm that... i accidentally called wrong no. to this person... who knows... the partner of this called back and gave me a 'nice' chat... and gave me some poems (vulgarities)... well... that person gave me 3 calls, each calls are getting more and more overboard... and finally, i told him the 'F'-off Words...
F words are nth much compared to KPKBSPSB *cencored*... all stuff...
im just angry when people scream vulgarities over the phone.. i'll get mad.. im controlling myself.. what pisses me and turns ppl off is when they are super possessive !!! *cencored*..
anyway.. stayed overnight at shaun's house to start and finish up the presentation..
our presentation is rather... not well prepared... we didn practice, everything is impromtus.. luckly im a 'whose line is it anyway' fan.. haha... then...
Dr kan called us, asking us the first question :"how do you do your work?"..
Me:"to begin with, we started doin this last midnight.."
Dr.K "oh my, that means you both dont have enough sleep?!"
Us "yup... we completed in 6 hours, though we had some breaks.."
Dr.K:" So how do you find your work?"
Us:" erm, we'll say 50-50..."
Dr.K :" well, actually i like your work.."
us:" HUH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
Dr.K:" the notes are clear and the presentation itself is fluent..."
so in the end we got an A, whahaha... shaun and i screamed in the room after she left.. WOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!! its all thanks to the red bull!! haha kidding..
string rehearsal.. asusual, got so called embarrassing ourself infront of the parents again..
this is really really irritating, i hate vivaldi's concerto.. argh!!...
if that guy come to our school to look trouble for me, i promise......
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Just heard that steve Irwin.. my favourate documentary show guy.. kena poked by stingray... where i love to eat it.. so now.. should i eat it? i think the more i should eat !!! devour them more !!!...
today's rehearsal is gettin from bad to worst.. im talkin about the scolding.. its getting more and more humiliation of us... infront of these kids especially.. yesh.. they are bloody talented until i can see blood.. and dbass is a bloody hard instrument to have a purrrrfect intonation!! im not complaining.. im tryin my best!! i even make markings !! (my secret!).. so that i will be in tune.. arghh!..
Was very angry to the extend of throwin my dbass directly at him!! or maybe outside.. and run home to finish up my history !!! its so !!*&^%$#@... argh !!!! *cencored*!
argh!!!!!!!! my history presentation and piano repertoire presentation is coming.. coming and coming...
pick one...
In the memory of Steve Irwin
Just heard that steve Irwin.. my favourate documentary show guy.. kena poked by stingray... where i love to eat it.. so now.. should i eat it? i think the more i should eat !!! devour them more !!!...
today's rehearsal is gettin from bad to worst.. im talkin about the scolding.. its getting more and more humiliation of us... infront of these kids especially.. yesh.. they are bloody talented until i can see blood.. and dbass is a bloody hard instrument to have a purrrrfect intonation!! im not complaining.. im tryin my best!! i even make markings !! (my secret!).. so that i will be in tune.. arghh!..
Was very angry to the extend of throwin my dbass directly at him!! or maybe outside.. and run home to finish up my history !!! its so !!*&^%$#@... argh !!!! *cencored*!
argh!!!!!!!! my history presentation and piano repertoire presentation is coming.. coming and coming...
pick one...
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Camp...
Today's the 2nd time that i've ever attended a religion camp... maybe third...
its very fun and interesting... at first i didn know what to do there, especially the kids that i dont really know.. so.. ya.. the room is cold.. until pastor came and started some games... slapping hands onto the table.. poor table.. =S
learnt quite a few things.. very interesting..
dinner was great.. with cold, cold, and more cold jokes goin around the tables.. the char kuey tiao is delicious.. compared to the other shop... this is fantabulous..
PAYCO practice is kinda embarrasing at first.. where i dont really know the parts.. and i have to so called play solo infront of everyone.. but im used to it.. i guess.. =(
back at the camp.. walking around and sending sebas off home..
and now... im trying my best to blog.. and this young gal... valerie.. who dont wanna sleep.. so ya.. shall continue later =p...
came back from the camp... learnt few things today... wanna repent my mistakes.. my actions.. etc... anyway... i wanna work hard... shan't complain... and must treat ppl well =D
tata... off to do work..
There's always a word called 'limits'... so i must control myself... refrain myself... shhhh...
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Being ignored sux...
new bass arrived... decided to let ma sai use it since i preferred the old one....
working hard...
who cares ?!
