Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Is it me ?
Very tired today ever since the performance.....everyday listen to band music... very mentally drained..
was really pissed in the morning... why cant you just practice your part rather than spending money on phones and foods ?!?! im so freaking tired to listen to your mistakes all over and over !! once and twice is enough already.... pls.... prac your part..
band is wasting my time for the 2nd part.... they are playing the piece which doesn have my part... so i enjoying my time reading 'ninja' book... its fantastic adventure story book.... i wanna buy more books... investigations... romance (especially so can be more romantic).... killins and actions...
practiced very hard for piano and dbass in the night... and played some games to destress myself. 'pathetique' sonata suits my emotions now...
my teeth still hurts like mad... grrrrrr........ been eating lesser and lesser... oh well.. another way of diet =)
Im truly sorry that i cant decide a definite place which you'll enjoy... im sorry for being a boring person... but all i want is to see you. I've always been dying to see you, your smile.. and little lecture whenever i did mistakes.. but what i'll always feel upset was when you ignore me, when i cant get to do many things with you but you did with friends.. (but thats ok to me.. cos you are enjoying which what i always wanted.. your happiness)... to me... liking and loving a person doesn care what 's her/his flaws... since you've/i've already accepted their everything.. and also doesn care whatever they are goin or doin... cos its the company that counts... all you want is to see their smiling faces.. and that makes your day.. i really dont care if you suggested a place which i dont like.... i really dont care.. cos i can get to see you.... i really really dont care.... i can abandon my other happiness to see you... cos you are my desires and happiness itself... I'll work harder.. think of more better things to do.. i dont care whether you are unreasonable or not.. i really dont care... i dont give a damn... im sorry if i overreacted.... read all your previous entries... felt full of envys for them/him... that how much you really liked them/him.. at the same time.. feeling hatred towards them... how can they be such a fucking bastards jerks? you might not like me saying that since im a 3rd party to talk about this.. but its my point of view.. i dont know what actually happened.. but things can always be solve by talking.. but avoiding.. but its already in the past for you... and mine as well. I will not hurt you.. pls dont feel phobic just in case... im unlike them. Im ME...
